Plom: Poor little old me

Plom’s bore me, I find myself terribly bored by people who create drama from something that has barely affected them. Let me offer you an example: there’s a terrible crash on a main road that has killed the driver. A plom’s response is: I’m going out tonight and now I’m going to be late and probably die from starvation. Anyone else shows concern for the people involved and quietly plans an alternative route home. Another example: Family gunned down in local historic town. A plom’s response is: It’s scary my friend of a friend of a friend lives there so I’ll probably get shot. FUCK OFF. I hate it, the Daily Mail is plom territory, they’re all over it – that comment section is probably full of people living off benefits but they feel so so sorry for themselves and hate the system – despite the enormous hand out’s they are receiving from it.

So this is my rant against ploms, maybe that makes me a plom, either way I don’t give a shit. My point is – the world is a deep dark place and it’s time you dealt with it. This isn’t one of those rants where I’m saying there are homeless people out there, your life isn’t that bad – that’s not true because everyone has personal problems that they have to deal with in their own way.

Plom’s are infected, their innate selfishness sickens me to the point where I feel slightly suicidal. How can anyone be so unforgiving, thoughtless and self-absorbed to turn any event back onto themselves without even realising. I ask you, how. Now I shall tell you why. They  are stuck, quite simply, stuck in their own little boring lives and verging on depression thus – the drama they create is an attempt to excite their sad little lives and makes themselves feel better. They feed off tragedy, bad news (also tragedy) other people’s bad luck and unhappiness…J.K Rowling didn’t have to look too far to invent Dementors, they’re essentially ploms in a black bed sheet that can fly around while sapping the happiness out of people they pass by.

The cure for ploms: get a fucking life. Try sport perhaps, but if you can, keep it to yourself – bragging about your minutes per mile is also boring. Charity work: it will open your eyes to how happy people are who have absolutely nothing and how hilarious your depressed and cynical view of everything is. Make some friends, talking is therapy, as long as they aren’t ploms too. It’s not hard to make friends, unless you moan about everything then you may find it difficult. Go for a walk, I read a quote somewhere once where someone said you they had two doctors, their left leg and their right leg. Get a pet, animals are simplistic creatures and can teach even the most angry people compassion. Just please stop moaning about everything. Ploms fuel hate and hate creates wars. Plom off.





We need to be more like Grandma

We live in a world of waste, I’m guilty of it – but at least I’m aware of it.

Right now I am sitting at my desk at work, looking at my Extra White chewing gum plastic pot which is sadly empty when I could really do with some because I had some onion with my salad at lunch. Why can’t I just take this pot to a shop and get it refilled? They seem to have gone to the trouble to fill a beautiful plastic pot (I use the term fill lightly) with gum yet it’s just more waste, I wonder how many get tossed into the verge each day.

Sadly, my beautiful Grandma died in January this year, the 3rd in fact and despite her age she never faulted, not once at looking after this planet. Grandma did it everything consciously – her hot water bottle must have contained antique water she had reboiled it so many times. Not to mention her garden which was kept watered with the washing up water and I would have even put it past her to have emptied the bath with a bucket and tipped that over the garden too.

If you wanted a plant bringing back to life you would give it to Grandma and she would whip it back into shape with some firm words and prayers in no time. You needed some clothes mending or a stain removing and Grandma could do that too, something I wish I had found the secret too before she died. The only thing I would say about her is she never had such a connection with animals, she did have dogs growing up who’s names I can’t really say as its inappropriate now but I did delight in hearing her exclaim to me one day when I asked, why on earth would you call your dog that Grandma and she said, ‘Well little Georgina, he was black all over!’ I think animals were seen as a waste of money, and rightly so when you see the shelters filled with unwanted animals these days that people realise they can’t afford, far too late.

Grandma never ate too much, she was always the perfect weight for her size even though she ate biscuits, but towards the end she probably was too skinny but not looking too shabby for 99 years old. Her diet secret were just wholemeal bread for breakfast, some veg and chicken for lunch and something even lighter for tea – she indulged on meals out but it was just simple and yummy food. She also made a cracking sponge and the occasional crumble.

Where has this attitude to the planet gone? It can’t just be a war and poverty that led Grandma to be so ‘green’ as we call it now. She lived a good life, had plenty of money but never wasted any because she never lived beyond her means. Now – we live like we are going to die tomorrow, it’s so bizarre, we are so incredibly selfish and never think about the consequences and if we do we get so overwhelmed we just think ‘what’s the point’.

What I am trying to say is, why is it fashionable to be ‘organic’ and ‘green’ and what ever bloody label you want to give yourself for wearing linen clothes and eating expensive food when really you just need to be more like Grandma.

what can we do?

Realisation….have we evolved at all?

Recently I have come across some rather medieval opinions, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. For example….Sarah Sands: pleaded guilty to stabbing her 77-year old neighbour Michael Pleasted after finding out he had a paedophile record. Now – Lad Bible and countless other sites have shared this story asking for people to share their opinion.  The majority of people commenting ( I didn’t read all of them) were in favour of this man being stabbed to death and people were enjoying the fact that he suffered. How far away is this…from people standing in the middle of their town, jeering as someone is hanged (always get my hanged and hung mixed up) for being a paedophile? I honestly don’t think it is far at all….so when it suits it seems we (loosely) revert back to being the medieval creatures we once were and we rally together at the death of someone we have decided to hate. The same goes for anyone who hunts, kills animals, eats meat, litters, get’s caught one way or another then publicly shamed on the internet via Facebook or whatever means the ‘jury’ can find, then they are absolutely hailed with hatred and abuse because people can say whatever they want through a social media platform.

So back to my original question, have we evolved at all? People are saying that Fox Hunting should be banned because it is medieval, but wishing fox hunters to fall of their horses and break their necks is just as medieval so there is never going to be a solution because there is so much hatred.

I don’t know how to feel about this at all, part of me thinks we need something shocking to happen to unite us as a race again, part of me is scared for the future. The internet is a brilliant thing and in the wise words of Ron Weasley, brilliant…but scary. medieval post


I read something SHOCKING earlier today which said; when a woman is 60 she will have tried something like 1000 diets, I know! Ridiculous! Yet…the world is still obese. Is it these ‘diets’ which are driving us to obesity? Diet literally means ‘course of life: way of living of thinking’ and this was decided c1460 (according to which is always right) so what has gone wrong since then?

I’ll tell you what…money and supermarkets. We are led to believe that diet books actually love us and want us to be thin beautiful people, this is not the case – if so why sell the book? Ok they need to earn a living but why not try something like running a gym class or being a chef if they know so much. I bet realistically they are horrible self important people counting their wads of cash.Saying this there is one man I recommend and that is James Duigan who does recommend a way of life not a diet but you have no be MEGA strong. 

Diet books are mostly depressing too, they shame us for our body type by hitting popular habits and insecurities which most people have/do but by generalising it makes you feel pointed out. Weight Watchers are the best…they even sell scales and food, how do people survive without them?!!!

I hate to say it but ‘back in the old days’ (I’m 22, this is on what I’ve heard from my lovely Grandma) sweet things were a luxury and your meat and veg were what you got. She lived through a war so you were doing well to get more than a potato. Now I find it impossible to get through a supermarket without being roped in by their ridiculous deals on sweet products. You can buy your body weight in crisps and chocolate before you even consider checking to see if apples are on special offer. Lets be honest, even if apples had a huge great sign saying 50% off we wouldn’t fill up our cupboards because a) they don’t make us happy and b) they would turn mouldy which could lead to cider though which would make us happy…Anyhow supermarkets are tricky, its a bit like snakes and ladders…you have your shopping list and then you are hit by a series of unhealthy offers and you are doomed.

A bit about me, I love my body most days, then some days I’m like OOO pretty sure I couldn’t feel my tummy last time I ran or OOO this position really emphasises my hip fat, what even IS hip fat that’s gross oh wait yes I’m mean’t to be having sex lets forget about the hip fat and ENJOY the moment. I am around 5’9 and I weigh 66kg regularly. This is important – if you don’t weigh yourself (make it fun I like to do it naked then add clothes to see how much they weigh- I’m super weird) then things start to get out of hand. BUT don’t do anything drastic. I have a weakness for Jaffa Cakes and croissants and chocolate and nutella especially. If I finish a pot of nutella in a week (the norm) I say to myself, time to work that bitch off and go for a long run. My sister…if she eats say; a whole cake in a week but she can’t run (won’t run) she thinks woops better have a really healthy three days to get the old metabolism up again. Its ALL about balance, scales are made out of balances, the earth relies on a balance and our bodies need balance otherwise we are stuffed (literally)! For the people out there who couldn’t give a daaaamn what they look like holla at ya’lll but just don’t get obese and rely on the NHS to get you out of that mess cause it ain’t fair on nobody.

One last thing, if I post lots of pictures of beautiful people on my blog it isn’t because I want to look like them even if I do on the odd day a little bit, I just love beauty and a girl/man/woman shouldn’t be harassed for being perfect any more than being curvy. A Shetland is never going to look like an Arab. In English….Susan Boyle is never going to look like Adriana Lima but daamn can she sing.

Peace xxFullSizeRender (1)